If you love everyone do you have to like them? By Heidi Jakoby

Love - Hate; Like – Dislike, these are the opposites but can you love everyone and not like everyone? In the Gospel of John 13:31-35 . Jesus gives us a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. How do we go about loving one another? Jesus is asking us to love everyone? As I pondered this new command I asked a number of my friends, “What does this mean to you today?” especially in light of current events. I kept reflecting on Goldman Sachs  and how they banked on peoples misfortune in order to make more money (or at least that is how I understand part of the situation) did they do this out of love? Or out of hate? Did they just dislike people or were they blinded by greed? The other person I thought about was Bernard Madoff  and the Ponzi Scheme he ran from 1960 until his arrest in 2008. How does one live with the pain they have caused so many people?

This command is a difficult one to follow. It seems too big of a request. How can I love everyone? I need to break this down in order to comprehend what I am being asked to do. I know there are people I like and get along with, who are easy to love but how do I love those I dislike or that I have decided to not keep in my life? Those I have never met? That is when my friend Beth gave me a wonderful answer to my earlier question. She said Jesus asked us to love one another not to like one another. “Loving people” she said, “is easier than liking them”. In some ways you really need to get to know a person, their personality to decide if you like them but you can love them, because they are a person who deserves to be loved. I understood what she was saying but wanted to see if I could find anything written on this. I found this interesting article online and I just want to quote one paragraph here but you can read the rest of the authors thoughts here

“I once thought that to care for everyone meant appreciating all personalities and treating everyone equally. I first discovered how impossible and unnecessary it was to treat everyone equally. Perhaps that is when it occurred to me that I did not need to be equally fond of everyone to love them. That removed the feelings of guilt I had when I found that I did not like someone. For me, there was always a reason to dislike a person though. After the revelation, I experienced love for others when I cared about the general welfare of others, tried to understand them and bore no ill-will towards them. In my view, liking people arose through personality preferences and people, even if similar, cannot be exactly alike. This has implications for how you deal with people. I think that if you use "love" and "like" interchangeably, find that you hate many people. Boldly, I would suggest that folks who are so inclined would not attempt to minimise their levels of discrimination. It is perhaps possible to love people at different levels. Arguably, there is no general stipulation that we must love everyone equally. It is because of this that we get the concepts confused.”

Do you think it is easier to love or to like someone?

Do we innately want to love and care for one another as in this quote from Mencius cs 372-289 The Book of Mencius:

The Last Word
All men have a mind which cannot bear to see the sufferings of others. If men suddenly see a child about to fall into a well, they will experience a feeling of alarm and distress. Let them have their complete development, and they will suffice to love and protect all within the four seas.

quoted from Pathways to Peace: Interreligious Readings and Reflections, A. Jean Lesher, ed.

If this is true then it makes me wonder about the homeless man who stopped a mugging and then was left for dead on the sidewalk. Check out the video and article .Why did all those people just walk by and not help? Why did the one person take a picture but did not help? What does this say about us?

Why should we listen to this command by Jesus, why should we follow him and love one another as he has loved us? If you are curious I invite you to listen to this video blogger Dan Brown .

Loving one another as Jesus loves us begins one person at a time and it can be simple.

Join us Thursday at 7PM on Skype for a live conversation. Just log on to skype.com and call in to bythewaycommunity, we will be there form 7PM EST until 8PM, join in anytime, all are welcome.

Love

Heidi

Being known by that Voice I know... by Kari Henkelmann Keyl

Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came!
You wanna go where people know
People are all the same.
You wanna go where everybody knows your name. ♫

This has been one day when I definitely would have appreciated having my own friendly neighborhood bar to step into. I don’t, so I didn’t. But I did make a stop at one of my neighborhood places, out of necessity, to have my new glasses adjusted so they’d stop tormenting my ears. I walked in with all the grumpiness of my day clouding my spirit. And I walked out with a genuine smile, absent-mindedly humming the theme song to Cheers.

I had been greeted by name, treated with kindness, and even had the pleasure of a meaningful conversation. “My” Pearle Vision is a place where they know my name and are always glad I came. And I am truly grateful for it.

Do you have places like this? And do you value them as much as I do? Do you hunger for more of this sense of belonging? This sense of being known? I know I do. And when I get it, I treasure it. I feel like God is at work (or play?) in that place, or in that person, or in that group… whether they know it or not.

One of the most-loved pieces of poetry of all time, the song/poem that’s come to be known as Psalm 23, has this theme of being known. (Here are a couple of versions to check out: Psalm 23 NIV and Psalm 23 The Message.)

Through sunny-smooth times and shadowy-frightening times, God is like a shepherd who lovingly/firmly leads the way. This is one of those Bible passages that some people have tucked away in their memories. When they really need it, they can pull it out… to take them to that place of belonging, where they are known by name, like a sheep that’s valued by its shepherd.

Near the end of the psalm comes a line that sounds just plain gooey-comforting: “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life”. I’ll never forget when one of my college professors, Walter Rast, pointed out that the Hebrew word we usually translate as “follow” really has more of the connotation of “pursue” or “chase after”. At the time I learned this, I was having serious doubts about everything I’d ever learned about anything, including God. This image of God chasing after me, trying to gift me with undeserved love, even when I was running away, was deeply powerful for me.

At those times when I have no “Cheers” in my life, no place I sense belonging, there God my Shepherd is, chasing after me, pursuing me when my head’s turned the other way. When my day is full of anxiousness and empty of Godness, there is my Shepherd calling out my name, hoping I’ll recognize that familiar voice.

For there are times we don’t recognize the calling, when we miss out on the Life being offered. We need other “sheep” around us to help us to listen and discern where God’s voice is coming from and where it is not. Check out this episode in Jesus’ life, where he talks about himself as a shepherd whose guidance is not always received or recognized as a gift (John 10:22-30).

For some thought-provoking fun, I’ll end with one of my favorite movie images of a “good shepherd”, one who knows the sheep by name and pursues the sheep with love: Babe the Sheep Pig. This link (trailer) tells the story of this unconventional shepherding, and this one (tribute) shows the power of the story to effect even the tiniest of sheep!

Please know that by the way is a place that you can find welcome, just as you are. If you’d like to join in an audio Skype conversation on the issues I’ve raised here, call in and look for “bythewaycommunity” on skype.com this Thursday, April 22, at 7pm EST. Consider as well the option to offer your thoughts to others here by commenting below.

Jesus: Leader or Follower? By Heidi Jakoby

“Before you can lead, you must learn to follow.” (Dr. Woj, President Pratt Community College)Jesus was not only a leader but a follower. He was able to encourage people to do their best and to continue his teachings beyond his life. The last line of John21:1-19 is “Follow me” why would they continue to follow him? What did Jesus do? In Dr. Woj article he states, “Followership is an art in itself; it’s difficult to define, but it is essential in getting things accomplished. Followers get things done; leaders put them together to make something happen. Let’s examine followership more closely, for without that essential ingredient, success and progress are empty words. Follower is synonymous with disciple, partisan, supporter, advocate and pupil according to my Dictionary of Synonyms. Together, these words explain the characteristics and qualities of the art of successful followership.”

How was Jesus a follower? Are you a leader? Are you a follower? Are you able to flow from leader to follower and back?

If you choose to follow God how is your life different? Today I heard the story of James King the man who found the little girl Nadia lost in the swaps of FL. The headline reads “Nadia Bloom's Rescuer James King: God 'Led Me Directly to Her'”. What a powerful statement. On the interview I saw James said he was praying and God clearly guided him to Nadia. Was this a miracle or simply a disciple listening closely to what God was calling him to do? Check out the link to this story God led me to her . What do you think; was James just lucky? Was God involved? Four days alone and lost Nadia was found, hungry, dehydrated and with lots of bug bites. What a wonderful story of hope and possibilities.

The ability to listen, to communicate and to know when to lead and when to follow is part of our life’s journey. Leaders today need to be less autocratic and more inclusive of others in order to achieve their goals and the goals of the organization they are representing. Leadership today is about building understanding and fostering communication in order to come up with the best solutions to challenges. Do you agree or disagree? Have you noticed changes in the way individuals lead and follow? Have you noticed more people wanting to lead or wanting to follow? Leaders still take on the responsibility of success or failure, do people today avoid this responsibility or embrace it? Yes I know it depends on the individual and the situation but I was wondering if culturally things are changing.

When I first read the lesson for this blog I just kept coming back to the song “Life’s a Dance” by John Michel Montgomery. (video / lyrics ). The need to be flexible and to know that throughout life we grow and come to new understandings is life giving and forgiving. Please take a few minutes to listen to this beautiful song. Here are three versus as my closing thoughts.

Life’s a dance you learn as you go

Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow

Don’t worry ‘bout what you don’t know

Life’s a dance you learn as you go



The longer I live the more I believe

You do have to give if you want to receive

There’s a time to listen, a time to talk

And you might have to crawl even after you walk



Had sure things blow up in my face

Seen a long shot win the race

Been knocked down by the slamming door

Picked myself up and came back for more



How are you dancing? How is your journey going?

Please share your thoughts and comments.

"where Jesus walks and breathes" by Kari Henkelmann Keyl

So everyone seems to know that Jesus once walked on water. It shows up in bad jokes all the time. But how many people have heard that Jesus also specializes in walking through bolted doors?

As far as I’m concerned, the first factoid, the one that everyone knows, is of little consequence. It’s a cool miracle he did one day. That Jesus walks right into locked-up-tight hiding places... now that’s HUGE.

Here’s the story. It takes place that first Easter day, some hours after Mary Magdalene talked with the risen Jesus: John 20:19-31  (Do me a favor, and when you read the first sentence, substitute the phrase, “fearful of the Jews,” for the phrase, “fearful of the Judean guys in power”; it’s truly a better translation, since Jesus and his disciples are Jews themselves. Thanks.)

So Jesus’ best buds have locked themselves inside. I suppose they’d rather not be crucified (guilt by association, you know), so it’s not so hard to understand. Who wouldn’t be terrorized by the events of the past few days? The fact that they’re scared doesn’t seem to bother Jesus either. He just walks in. He walks in with a breath of fresh air called forgiveness. He shows them his scars. Yes, it really happened, and yes, I really forgive you for not sticking by my side. And I’m hoping it feels so overwhelmingly good that you’ll bolt out the bolted door and give it out to the rest of the world!

A week passes and they haven’t bolted yet. Still hanging in lock down mode. Jesus is patient. He walks through the locked door again. It seems he’s come back for the lost sheep that wasn’t with the crew last time he showed: Thomas, the realist, the one with questions and a stubborn streak. But Thomas is also the one with eyes open wide, hands ready to embrace Jesus, wounds and all.

Score one for Jesus. Now the disciples are ready to get back into the world and spread the good stuff around. That walking through locked doors is a priceless talent. Good thing Jesus bequeathed this talent to his followers so we can do it, too. What are the doors that are closed in your face that you need to yank on? What are the ones that are closed so tight that you need Jesus to do it for you?

We all have fears that make us want to close off part of the world. We may imagine that God is with us in that safe, cordoned-off place, and it’s true. But God’s on the other side of the door, too. And it just may be that God is calling us to check out the other side, to step out and see God, living and active, breathing forgiveness and peace, where we least expect God to be.

That’s the God we see in Jesus, the “out there” God, who will keep surprising us, and will keep walking through locked doors to find us.

To give your imagination a ride into places you may not yet have imagined Jesus walking, give this  Kenye West video a try.

And some poetic thoughts from Nigel Weaver, to bring it all together:

The risen Christ, who walks on wounded feet
from garden tomb through darkened city street,
unlocks the door of grief, despair, and fear,
and speaks a word of peace to all who hear.
The risen Christ, who stands with wounded side,
breathes out his Spirit on them to abide
whose faith still wavers, who dare not believe;
new grace, new strength, new purpose they receive…
May we, Christ’s body, walk and serve and stand
with those oppressed in this and every land,
till all are blessed and can a blessing be,
restored in Christ to true humanity.

Feel free to come and take this discussion further in a virtual conversation on Skype, this Thursday, April 8, 7pm. Look for bythewaycommunity. All are welcome. Come as you are!