Christmas continues for 6 more days by Heidi Jakoby

It is the 6th day of Christmas and Christmas carols are no longer heard on the radio and everyone seems to be looking straight at the New Year and they are done with Christmas, but Christmas day was just the beginning of the 12 days of christmas which end on January 6th with the celebration of Epiphany and the arrival of the Magi. I personally love this Christmas season knowing that we continue to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I found an interesting site that shares some thoughts about the urban legend or truth about the song
"The twelve days of Christmas". As this story points out the Christian meaning behind the song seems to be a myth but I enjoy linking the Christian meaning to the song, because it reminds me that I need to continue to practice kindness and love, even after Christmas and Epiphany. Is there anything wrong with linking new meanings to old songs? We often link meanings to songs, or at least memories to music. Music is very powerful and I try to continue listening to Christmas music up through January 6th but it isn't easy.



I have a difficult time staying focused on the "meaning of the season", but this reading from Colossians3:12-17 reminds me that love is the reason for the season. How can I continue to clothe myself in kindness when so many things in the news and around the world remind me that many people are not kind or caring? How do we rise above the external conflicts to focus on compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, and discipline? It has taken me a long time to embrace the peace and power of being even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense and I know I am not perfect but if I continue to aspire to it each time I do it, it comes quicker and easier.



Did you hear the report about the Grocery store that was left open by accident and the people who came in and took items and then left the money for them at the register? These are people who practice kindness, discipline, and caring. What would you have done given the opportunity they had? You can read the story and reactions for yourself. I thought it was a great reminder of the many honest people in our world.(Safeways left unlocked)

I know this Christmas season was one filled with planning and accepting what was not planned. I have been working hard at staying centered on kindness but often it is my family who challenges my kindness and forgiveness the most. I do find that some members of my family and some of my friends seem to enjoy stirring up tension, and I am not quite sure why? Sometimes I am the one pushing the buttons of my family members. This year I have tried to be more conscious of old habits and became aware of some of the buttons I push and tried to stop myself. Awareness and changing behavior is hard work, and takes practice as does, being kind and forgiving quickly. Practice and reminders of the meaning of Christmas can help.

I hope you continue to think about the meaning of Christmas through out these next 6 days and practice putting on the clothes God has provided for you throughout the new year. Have a joyous Christmas and a Happy New Year.

God’s healing shines in the darkness... by Kari Henkelmann Keyl

That smile on the outside's fading fast
Like the things that you thought for sure would last
But they didn't...

These words from Chicago’s 2006 song, “Feel,” struck a chord for those of us who were gathered at our “Service of the Longest Night” Thursday. It felt good to be in a supportive group that could be honest about how much it hurts when we lose what we never thought we would. Honesty is the beginning of the journey toward healing.

Our three reflections led us to begin by being honest with ourselves, then being honest with God, then finally taking Jesus seriously when he says we can let go of the heavy stuff weighing us down… and pick up a pack that will give us new meaning and purpose. So enter in, if you like, and see where these reflections and prayer-words take you: http://breadforyourjourney.blogspot.com/2009/12/reflections-and-prayers-service-of.html

What got your attention in those readings? Did anything get you thinking about your journey of healing, and where it can begin? Please feel free to put your thoughts into words by clicking on “comment” at the bottom of this post. Perhaps by the way can be a supportive community for you by “listening” to what’s going on with you this holiday season.

Those gathered at the Crowne last night had a rich discussion about how a song like Chicago’s Feel can give us permission to move out of numbness and just feel what we need to feel. And the Psalm 42 paraphrase got us into how we deal with God. What good things can happen when we just pour out to God all we are going through, even if it means spewing rage and doubt and neediness! And then when we’ve cried ourselves out, we can let God’s caring presence hold us and sing us through the night… that we might wake up with a new song and a new God-given energy.

The third reading actually inspired a burst of group laughter when one person pointed out that this version made it sound like Jesus was giving us an info-mercial! Here’s a more traditional version, if you like: http://bible.oremus.org/?ql=128145967

After our discussion we had some time to roam around the room and experience God’s grace in a variety of ways: reading, chatting, making a remembrance chain, receiving healing oil… but by far the most memorable was partaking of the most gorgeous and delicious loaf of challah bread we’d ever seen (thank you, amazing baker Matthew!). And thank you, Jesus, our savior and friend, for being our bread, for feeding us with all you are.

We ended in a circle of candlelight, hearing some words from gospel-writer John about God’s light shining in our darkness, and singing Silent Night.

May you have some heavenly peace in your sleeping and your waking, as you navigate these last days before Christmas and beyond. May the light of Christ find its way into your soul and back out through you as you care for those around you.

Peace,
Kari

PS:  I recommend the book A Decembered Grief  by Harold Ivan Smith, if you or someone you love could use an inspiring and filled-with-practical-ideas resource for getting through sad holidays.

Go ahead and feel… by Kari Henkelmann Keyl

Supporting people who are grieving and going through painful transitions has been at the heart of what by the way has been about, since our beginning days some 3 years ago. In many and various ways, we’ve tried to be a community living this message: God walks with you through good times and awful times, and we’ll all walk together to make this good news real.

By the way will again be holding our “Service of the Longest Night,” a time of reflection and prayer, acknowledging that the pre-Christmas season is not merry for everyone. For those who live anywhere near the Nashua NH area, this can be an in-person experience (Thurs. 7pm at the Crowne Plaza, at exit 8). For others, this can be a virtual experience of community, beginning here with this blog post, and continuing on through the week. Feel free to leave your comment, whether you’re one in need of support or one willing to offer it to others.

If you’ve been to this blog before, you may have noticed our community is formed as we dive into a piece of God’s word and see how it intersects with our lives and with the world around us. This week we’ll start with Psalm 42, which you can find at this link: http://bible.oremus.org/?ql=127903163

This psalm starts with being honest about a painful need, a need for understanding and company, a need for God. The honesty takes this hurting poet on a journey… of memories, soul-searching longing, and eventually: hope.

I tried a little creative project of my own, re-writing this psalm for those searching for relief from loss during this holiday time. My hope is that it would get you thinking about what you’d like to ask of God… and of God’s messengers, like the btw community you find here.

So here’s my attempt at a re-write:

Pre-Christmas Grief a la Psalm 42
As a deer leans forward, aching for water,
     so am I thirsty for you, O God.
I so need to know that you haven’t dumped me.
     I have to somehow see your face.
I’ve sobbed myself dry; still relief eludes me.
     I ponder good times, but they feel far away.
Christmas songs in the air
     leave me breathless with loss.
Deeper I sink, ‘til there’s just nothing left,
     nothing but you, God, nothing but you.
I grope in the darkness, some presence is there.
     I remember you once were a rock in my storms.
I’ll give trust a try; I’ll peek out of this hole,
But you, God — oh please, God —
     must make a move, too.
Hum your tune as I sleep,
     so I’ll wake warmed with song.
Let me feel my wounds healing,
     and I’ll know you have come.
Confident once more,
     I’ll have hope for tomorrow,
My whole life a prayer, to the God of my soul.

I’d love to see your re-write, too, if you feel so inclined. Just click on comment below.

For more exploring, here are some links to a Chicago song that’s always a good listen for me when I need permission to go ahead and feel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJn7azWR2i8
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/chicago/feel.html

Let's all be watching out for those who are hurting, those who've lost jobs and homes, those who are missing loved ones who have died. Watching and praying...

God, we come to you during this Christmas season, many of us with pain growing inside us. As the nights have been growing longer, so has the darkness wrapped itself around our hearts. We need to know you are here… that you are here for us. Be our rock in the storm, God. Bring us safely home. In your name we pray... amen.


God’s peace,
Kari

Taking Time to Pause by Heidi Jakoby

Obviously I decided to take some time to pause after my last blog I realized that I needed to take some of my own advise and have a simple weekend, after all this is my birthday month. Anyway to get back to the reflections posted on our Bread for Your Journey blog. Besides the passage from Luke and the poem, All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten, I added a song by Van Morrison Keep it Simple. On Thursday we had a Skype conversation about these reflections and here are some of our insights. It would be great to hear what you think.

In case you have not heard the 2009 most fascinating person according to Barbara Walters is Michelle Obama. After watching the Barbara Walter’s special it was interesting to see some seemingly outrageous individuals seem very down to earth and at least two women on the list because of what their husbands did.

O.k. let’s get back to John the Baptizer, one of the most fascinating people in the Bible (just my opinion). His boldness in telling the people what they need to do is admirable; he was able to know that his purpose was to prepare the way for Jesus. He instructed the people simply and they continued to come. Was being baptized by John just the popular thing to do at the time or did those being baptized fully understand what was happening and who was coming? Does it matter? What have you done lately just because it was the popular thing?

How does our culture of consumerism play into this idea of “doing the popular thing”? We are bombarded with advertising and marketing telling us what to buy, what we need and what to do, how do we begin to see through all of this and spend time exploring faith? In the second reflection All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten one of the lines is “Share everything”. This line flies in the face of consumerism. This is saying that everything we have we should share. During this holiday season I often catch myself questioning what I want versus what I need. This weekend I decided it was more important to be present with my husband and sleep in late on Sat, and then spend the day with friends doing some wine tasting and conversing. It was a simple day but very refreshing. So what did I accomplish on Sat? Some would say nothing but others would say I shared, played, and laughed with friends, and sometimes that is the best way to spend one’s day. Dustin who was on the Skype conversation Thursday mentioned one of his favorite quotes from Into the Wild was “the most important part of life is to share it.” Taking time to share your life with others can be rewarding in ways we cannot predict.

If you look at the song by Van Morrison you will see his response to his life and how society mocked his work, how he was misunderstood and in some ways how we (society) may not have been supportive of his bold vision. There is much in this song and it makes me curious about Van Morrison’s life and art. Sometimes when our lives get out of control the only thing we can do is to try and break it down into simple pieces.

I hope you take the time to slow down, pause and to appreciate some of the simple things in life and share your life with others. What do you think; please comment?

Simple Lessons during this busy time. by Heidi Jakoby

As the year comes to an end I am beginning to see everyone’s top ten lists and tomorrow Barbara Walters special the 10 most fascinating people of 2009 airs and many are wondering who will top that list See 9 of the 10 most facinating poeple . Well if I had to put together a list of my favorite 10 characters in the Bible John would definitely be on that list. Maybe I will work on that for a New Year’s blog?


Anyway, I will be curious to see what the values and experiences make someone fascinating? In this Bible reading Luke3:7-18 John is fascinating, he is unconventional but he is giving the people a rather simple message. He tells them to “Share with one another, Be Kind to one another. Don’t fight. Be fair. Don’t hoard, or lord it over one another.” Hum, some of the most popular movies, TV shows, especially reality television, are making money on the fact that we do not want to see anyone doing any of these. There is more meanness, fighting, injustice, hoarding and lording on television today than I can ever recall. Does this all make for good television and great movies? I know there are exceptions but I think they can be hard to find. What are you watching? What is entertaining to you?

As I read a number of blogs and commentaries I kept thinking about the poem by Robert Fulghum, All I really need to know I learned in Kindergarten. I could comment on every line, “Share everything.” During this holiday season this is one we could all be better at. I find myself thinking about how much I have and am aware of so many in need. Today I was heading to the grocery store and I was hungry, and in that moment I actually tried to think about being hungry for more than a moment. I was hungry not because I did not have food but because I did not feel like eating what I had. In some ways I had an abundance of food to choose from and definitely once I got to the market I had an over abundance to choose from. What do you have an abundance of that you can share? Many of our Food Pantries  are low on food, consider sharing what you have. Another line is, “Play fair.” I have great respect for people who play fair, unfortunately in life many things do not seem fair and what I think is fair others may not. What have you noticed about playing fair recently? Having two older brothers growing up I thought they never played fair. Now as an aunt to a number of children I find myself wanting to teach them the rules of the game and to encourage them to play as the game was intended. Unfortunately I am finding that not all parents think playing by the rules is a good idea, what have you noticed?

This poem influenced my life greatly it taught me that many complicated things come down to a few simple values, acts of kindness and sharing. That if we could be more patients and loving everything would seem a little better. Is this too optimistic, too simplistic? What do you think?

Join in on our live Skype conversation on Thursday at 7PM and share your thoughts, or comment here. So put bythewaycommunity on your Skype contact list and join us.

What gives you JOY? by Heidi Jakoby

Some of my favorite face book or twitter posts are those acknowledgements of unexpected joyful moments. Those moments of joy when you find your keys that were lost, or when a young child spins in circles laughs and makes himself dizzy for the first time are moments of joy. One friend posted some of the most beautiful pictures from the ice storm last year and there was such joy in the sky and sun reflecting in the ice and snow.

Last night my husband and I discussed the readings I posted earlier this week and a beautiful advent prayer a friend posted. ( Luke1: 68-79 and Philippians1:3-11)


It was fascinating to talk about what brings us joy and to find out that for both of us it is very simple things not the things the media puts out but the things that touch our hearts. He said that the quiet that comes with snow brings him joy. As I thought about it there is a different silence when you wake up to a neighborhood covered in snow. For me it is watching people enjoy my cooking or watching someone un-expectantly smile/laugh when they least expect it and no matter how hard they try to stop they can’t.

So how can we choose our joy? Maybe it is more about trying to be present in each moment of this time of Advent. To allow yourself to be distracted by what is most important and to not spend all of your time caught up in the frenzy of the season. In order to avoid some of the craziness of this holiday season I have discovered some great times to shop and I try and get together with friends more than worry about what will be happening in a few weeks. Take a breath realize what is truly the meaning of the season. Take some time and read these two passages from the Bible again.

Take care not to sit in the darkness, take time to find joy this season. What are the bright spots in this season? How might you create some joy in another person’s life? I know that during this time of year when my friends are struggling I just want to help, but that takes time and effort. What would make a friend who is struggling happy today? Sometimes it is a simple phone call, e-mail and sometimes a wall post.

I hope you remember that you are special and loved. You are important to the world and as you begin each day during this time of waiting, expect joy each day, expect good things to happen and help spread kindness. I know that sometimes I forget that I am special and that I can expect good things to happen each day. I hope each day of Advent brings you a little closer to God.

A friend shared this Advent prayer written by Henri Nouwen:

Lord Jesus, Master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas.
We who have so much to do seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day.
We who are anxious over many things look forward to your coming among us.
We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom.
We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy or your presence.
We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light. To you we say, “Come Lord Jesus!”


Amen

Prepare the way, one step at a time. by Heidi Jakoby

Didn’t we just get done preparing for the holiday of Thanksgiving? What are we preparing for now? The next set of holidays. Whether it is Chanukah, kwanza or Christmas you are preparing to celebrate. A celebration is to be joyful, so what is with all the stress? Why don’t we enjoy the days leading up to the next holiday. For me Christmas is a time to celebrate and December is also my birthday month so I like to enjoy December. For many December is a difficult time, of trying to fit everything in, achieving our own expectations, sometimes unrealistic ones?


I recently read an article called “Make room for joy!” by Cricket Cooper in the New Hampshire Episcopal News where she talks about choosing joy. Say no to some things so you can experience joy this holiday season. Find a balance in your preparation and your joyous waiting. What do you think how does one strike this balance?

Today is also World Aids Day twitter has gone red and Alisha Keys is having a special concert tonight which you can see online on YouTube live. You can actually donate to her foundation to help Hiv victims in Africa Keep A Child Alive A very big part of this season is giving, giving gifts, giving back, and offering gratitude. I have been trying to balance the media blitz of Christmas things with the expectant waiting of this Advent season. The waiting for a child, a child that will bring hope to the world, is what some of us are waiting for, and then on Dec. 25th the 12 days of Christmas begin. It is amazing to me that the real Christmas season begins with Christmas Day yet all around us the retailers and media started Christmas before Thanksgiving.

In the lesson from Luke Luke 1: 68-78 we hear about the birth of John the Baptizer who will be the one to prepare the way for Jesus. How have you prepared the way for Jesus and God in your life? Have you considered inviting Jesus and God into your life? Have you asked god to leave and go away?

This is  often called the “Season of Joy” and the lesson from Philippians Philippians1:3-11 talks about joy, how are you making sure you are finding joy this month? How do you find joy each day?

These are some of my thoughts and I look forward to meeting a few of you at Applebee’s Thursday at 7pm in North Nashua on 101A. After this conversation there will be another post with some more reflections and thoughts. I hope this has caused you to pause and take a minute to think about what you want this time to be for you.