"by the way" in the spotlight

Check out the article about "by the way" in the Nashua Telegraph online. Nice job, Andrea! Good quotes, Crystal!
http://www.nashuatelegraph.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071127/STYLE/311270012

You are not alone

“Having trouble adjusting to the ‘real world’ after twentysomething years in school? You are not alone.”

That’s a quote from http://www.quarterlifecrisis.com/, a website that connects people in their twenties and thirties to one another in a supportive community. Webmaster Abby Wilner does a terrific job of helping people realize they’re not supposed to have it all together. There are so many others who are facing similar frustrations and fears, so there’s no use beating yourself up when you can instead use that energy to reach out to others who can understand.

You are not alone.

This time of year, I suspect, we need to hear those words more than ever.

All around us are signs of holiday cheer, encouraging us to hope for that idealized December of our dreams. Searching for that perfect gift can be such a lonely business, especially when you don’t have the finances to cover it or the time to go out and find it. And I don’t know about you, but I can get weepy at moment’s notice… when I yearn for a past I can’t go home to… when I desperately miss dear ones who have died… when the stresses are just too much to handle.

Anyone out there know what I’m talking about? I need to know I’m not alone. What keeps you going when you’re drowning in inadequacies and running from sorrows?

Earlier today I was looking through The Message, Eugene Peterson’s “everyday language” version of the bible, hoping for a pick-me-up. It didn’t take long before I found myself in the lush meadows of Psalm 23 with my shepherd close beside me. These words especially grabbed me:
True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction…
Even when the way goes through Death Valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure…
(and this is my favorite…)
Your beauty and love chase after me every day of my life.

God’s beauty and love are chasing after me? I love that. God’s out there pursuing me, eager to place in my hands the gift I’m groping for, if only I’ll give up on trying to earn it with my own wonderfulness.

God’s beauty and love are tapping me on the shoulder, waiting for notice.

I am… truly… not alone.

It’s images like that that keep me going, keep me energized, keep me tapping on the shoulders of others who might need some of that God-beauty and God-love to be chasing after them. I may not have the perfect gift to hand them… but I can offer myself, unadorned, the way I am, the me that hungers to reach out to others and have others reach back…

So can I really stop beating myself up for not having it all together… and begin to see and feel the beauty that is all around and inside me? I hope I can… and I hope will not be alone.

Kari Henkelmann Keyl

No Office Hours This Week

Steve will be at a conference this week, so be sure to catch him the second week of December at Panera.

What is Your Quest?

During a week when more Americans travel than any other, I am drawn to the concept of journey. Not necessarily a journey of planes, trains and automobiles, but one of quest, seeking answers, fulfillment or meaning. All of us are on a journey of some sort and in a week when one might be distracted by expectations of “journeys” to a picture perfect family gathering, a gourmet “Martha Stewart” meal, a winning Turkey Day football game, or bargain filled early morning shopping spree… it is a fitting time to reflect on our journeys and give thanks for all who guide us along the way.

Author Gail Ramshaw points out that the image of journey or quest is common in world religions and implies an arduous search for a distant goal of enormous significance. In the Bible there are many examples of journey quests and pilgrimages from Abraham and Sarah, the people of Israel through the sea and desert, Wise Men following a star, to Jesus walk to the cross. While Christians do not journey on pilgrimage quests, the image of journey is a metaphor for Christ, our communal life together and seeking to live out our faith daily along the way.

Journey’s can be idealized and often don’t seem to make any sense when we are in the middle of them, stuck in traffic, delayed in our quest, lost in a fog, or wishing we had a “Garmin” GPS for our lives. Our quests can seem random, even absurd at times as we seek “Holy Grails” of our own. In Monty Python’s Holy Grail movie classic, the old bridge keeper asks each of the King’s men three questions. If they get them right, they can cross. If not, they are thrown into the chasm the bridge crosses.

Bridge Keeper: What is your name? First man: Sir Lancelot
Bridge Keeper: What is your quest? First man: I seek the Holy Grail
Bridge Keeper: What is your favorite color? First man: Red
Bridge Keeper: Off you go then.

Bridge Keeper: What is your name? Second man: Sir Galahad
Bridge Keeper: What is your quest? Second man: I seek the Holy Grail
Bridge Keeper: What is your favorite color? Second man: Blue, no Green.
AHHH… (as he is thrown into the chasm)

Bridge Keeper: What is your name? King: Sir Lancelot
Bridge Keeper: What is your quest? King: I seek the Holy Grail
Bridge Keeper: What is the average airspeed velocity of an unlaiden swallow? King: African or European?
Bridge Keeper: I don't know, AHHH… (as the bridge keeper is thrown into the chasm).

Thomas Merton in his book Thoughts in Solitude admits the following about his journey: My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. . . I may seem to be lost and in the shadow but I will not fear for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Or as the Psalm writer states in 139:2 “You trace my journeys and my resting-places and are acquainted with all my ways.”

May your quest for finding meaning, direction, purpose, your enormous significance be filled with safe travel and the company of others. This week we at BTW give thanks for all we have met along the way and remind you that this community is about accompanying you on all the journeys and quests of your life. Feel free to e-mail us here at bytheway.nashua@gmail.com or drop in at Panera, Barnes & Noble or Uno’s to continue the conversation.

Creator God, Companion Jesus, and Sustaining Spirit,
Protect and guide us on our journey, help us as we prepare to travel, seek and find. In this time of travel, make our ways safe, homecomings joyful, and bring us closer to you. Amen.

+ Bill Petersen

Tis the Season?

Ecclesiastes, one of the least upbeat prophets of the Old Testament, really had a way with words. Sometimes you don't know whether you should be comforted by what he says or depressed! But his words found their way into a popular song, "Turn, Turn, Turn." And so we all can probably sing, "For everything, turn, turn, turn..." What is it then that made me think of this as we get ready to head into the Holiday season?

Well, I think it is important to take a deep breath and enjoy these seasons in our lives and in our calendars. We are all told that we are overbusy, and so we tend to confirm this by filling out our schedules and stressing ourselves out. We barely finish eating the leftover Halloween candy and our Turkey leftovers are tossed out to make room for the Christmas ham or roast beef.

How can we find time to honor the rhythm of our own lives if we have forgotten how to mark out the rhythm of the world around us? The reason for the title of this post is to really ask you to think about what "season" is your life in right now? To consider this, let's take a brief walk through the recent film, Knocked Up.

In case you missed this late-summer comedy, Knocked Up deals with two young people, Ben and Alison. Both are dealing with new rising careers. Alison, who works at E! television, has just been promoted to an on-air position. Ben is about to launch his new website...soon....any day now...once the research is complete. And one night when Alison goes out to celebrate with her sister she kind of knocks into Ben and the two "hook up." Because this is Hollywood, and the story needs to move along, they end up going to her place. In a moment of alcohol-induced stupor, Ben tosses caution to the wind and they have unprotected sex. The nuclear fallout of this "day after" appears the next morning when they both realize what has happened. And, of course, Alison soon discovers (after taking a 100 or so home pregnancy tests) that she is pregnant.

Now, the interesting thing to me while watching this film was how the characters all are trying to figure out where they are in their lives. Alison's sister has a home, family, and little or no mystery left in her life. She has to control everything in order to maintain this stability but she is insecure about her life and feeling like she is missing something. Her husband is left trying to figure out is he a dad, a husband, just a guy looking for a hobby, etc. The manboys that live with Ben are living the high life, so to speak. We don't seem to know how they are able to afford a home with a pool in California, but somehow they are able to have this and maintain a "heady" life style. But they are stuck in the season between being a boy and being a man, and each are scared and confused about what that might mean to move to the next stage of life. (They kind of are a Greek chorus of sorts if you think about!). Each character's parents are given a brief scene to provide alternative "older" and seasoned perspectives.

With Alison's pregnancy, Ben is suddenly thrust into the ambiguity of what and who he is. Alison also has to think about this life-changing situation. Neither seem to be concerned at first about the life they have created together, though this really does change quite soon.

What fascinated me about this film was that in the midst of all this, Ben and Alison, discover the season of young adulthood that is fraught with its pitfalls and opportunities. And they must discern what gives them life and joy. The final birth of their child is filmed with this tension in mind as well. Each season of Alison's immediate life has to adapt to a new rhythm and it must also find a way to connect with that of her vocation and Ben's life. Likewise, Ben has to make some personal decisions about his life that he has ignored up until now...which his father allows to be reflected back to him in their scenes together. This film is a reminder to celebrate the season of life we are in, receive the surprises and rhythm in a way that brings us back into a more real daily living. It is perhaps no accident that both of the characters are involved in the distracting industries of entertainment (television and the internet) which often try to keep us from the very interactions we all crave.

Seasons are signposts for us. Times to acknowledge and connect to our pasts and our futures. Times to mark the gathering of the harvest, its bounty, and the inevitable gifts that follow. Seasons allow us to pause, reflect, and consider how our actions and decisions impact one another. We can mark this time coming up to Thanksgiving, with moments of reflection and gratitude, but until we know what season of our own lives we are living in it might be a bit difficult.

So this week, take a moment to reflect about where you are in your own life: high school, college, newlywed, divorced, expecting a child, heading off to Iraq, returning home, graduating, homeless, jobless, or recently hired. It is a time to fill in the blank of your life: tis the season to be....

The Apple of God's Eye

"Guard me as the apple of the eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings..." [Psalm 17:8]

Has anyone ever said to you, "You are the apple of my eye"? This is a relatively old expression, probably said by our older relatives. But it turns out this is an ancient phrase. Moses (the guy that led the Israelites out of Egypt on a 40 year mapless roadtrip to the Promised Land) actually said this in one of the early books of the Bible. There he was referring to Jacob and how God provided for him and helped him on his own desert wanderings. I never realized the phrase had such ancient connections.

What does it mean though to be someone's eye fruit? Maybe we should consider the phrase "eye candy" first? The latter phrase, loaded with sexual undertones, is used to describe someone's beauty, but really in a kind of sexual tension bordering on lust. To look at someone as "eye candy" might seem like harmless fun, but it does demean that person. It reduces them to an object that perhaps we discern would be bad for us, even though we might desire it all the same (at least if we take the "candy" image to its fullest extent). Perhaps being the "apple of one's eye" might at first seem like an ancient way of saying "woo-hoo" at a person as well. You know, if we follow the tradition of an apple being the forbidden fruit I guess it would make some bizarre sense.

But what if being the "apple" took that same implication back to the story of Adam and Eve as being vital, or most important of all other things growing in the garden? It is this sense of being beloved, or held dearly, that this phrase, "the apple of my eye" has grown to mean. Being the apple of one's eye is a reminder that we are loved and valued.

Our culture likes to find ways to make us feel uncomfortable with who we are and what we look like all the time. Here though we see the psalm writer ask God to keep them as the one held dearly, the one brought under the protection of a wing like a chick with its mother. What an amazing image this is after all! God holds you and me, each of us, close. God values you for who you are and how you were created to be and desires to "dote" on you. (Or as one of my Southern friends liked to say, "come over here and let me love on ya".)

When we meet others "by the way" we have an opportunity to see the beauty that God sees in us and by so doing we discover just a little glimpse of God working in the world. This is the wonder of a little fruit from the Fall (the season, not the Bible) that can give us hope for a world where all are welcome and all are loved and doted on. Together we discover how we are God's "apple" and we come together to become a living "pie"--mixing together and using our gifts as a fragrant offering to God.