Steve-o's Devos: You Hurt Me, I Forgive You

The Gospel passage (click the title above to read) has some often difficult words to hear. Perhaps my title is a bit more provocative than the scripture even intends. This is because the interpretation of what is being said here can really veer us into dangerous territory, a place that would inapropriately allow us to not deal with a variety of abuses inflicted on us. But if we look very carefully at what Jesus is saying in this passage we can come up with only one end result: that we own the decision that will shape the direction of the relationships we are in.

Think about that for just a minute. Too often someone hurts us (mentally, physically, verbally) and we have several choices available to us. We can simply ignore the abuse, we can attack back, we can wait until time passes and then seek revenge, or we can seek to repair the damage and hope for healing. It is this latter path that Jesus encourages but with a specific request: that we not go it alone.

You can probably think of any number of people that you have been in conflict with in your life. Often we try to deal with the conflict with that person on our own, suffering the pain alone or lashing back at that person or someone else to spread the frustration and pain around. Jesus encourages us to take a second person along when we want to address a problem and that together you are able to discern the problem and perhaps come to a solution. If that does not work, involve the community in solving the problem with the hope that reconciliation and healing can occur. Jesus does not expect the community to take a side, only to live out a chance to hear the problem and discern a solution that solves the conflict.

What is fascinating is that while this often seems quite idealistic, it is obvious that the reality may not allow for resolution between the two people involved. So, there is a way that we can work towards having our own peace of mind and soul that allows us to move on with our lives and to not let that person have power or control over us any longer. It means sitting down in prayer with another person and giving over our pain and hurt to God. It means not letting that pain have power over our life our our daily living. It is about offering the one who causes us pain a chance for repentance and then handing over to them the power to change, forgiving them in the process.

When we forgive someone it allows us a chance to no longer let them have power over us. It will take a long time. In fact Jesus encourages us that we will need to forgive people 7 X 70 times before we will even be able to move on with our lives. I think rather than giving us a number to remember, Jesus just reminds us that forgiveness is not simple and it takes a long time to take root. But it needs careful nurturing, a time for reconciliation to take root, and a supportive community to hold us close and remind us that we are loved and lovable. The result of having others around us reminds us that Jesus is part of that loving circle and that when we come together in prayer to rejoice in our faithful living we discover that joy that comes from living out our messy lives together.

So, while provocative my title may be for today's devo, I don't mean to imply that you should stay in an abusive situation. God does not want you to live in abusive relationships with others either and this passage from Matthew reminds us that we need one another to overcome those times when it may be too difficult for us to confront the realities of relational abuse.

By the Way we hope will be, and is, such a developing community, where we can walk, or perhaps stumble, towards a great understanding of support and forgiveness made possible through Christ.