Not the Only One

So you’re in a group of people and someone’s telling a joke. She gets to the punch line and the whole room’s laughing. Everyone gets the joke but you. Not a good feeling. You’re on the outside looking in. You’re just not getting it.

So you’re starting out your new life. There’s some excitement, lots of newness. It’s an adventure. It’s just… not the adventure that you thought you’d be having at this point. Something’s off. You just can’t see where this is all heading. Not a good feeling.

The online magazine Smith had this great idea to ask readers to write the story of their lives in just six words, and what came from it was a book which got its title from one of the brief life-stories that was submitted: Not Quite Was I Was Planning.

I love this title. At those out-of-control moments of my life, this title shows up in my head like a best friend who understands because she’s been there. Sometimes I just don’t get it. I can’t see what it all means. And I feel like I’m the only one who’s not getting the joke… the only one whose life is not at all what I was planning.

If you’re ever looking for some heroes from history who you can relate to in the department of “not getting it”… you need not look further than the book of the Bible known as The Gospel According to Mark. (It’s really more of a short story than a book, and it’s a good one to read all in one sitting, if you ever get the chance.)

In Mark’s version of Jesus’ life and ministry, Jesus’ closest companions and students, his disciples, just cannot make the clues add up. Over and over again, they show us how hard it is to see what Jesus is up to, what’s his game plan. Jesus did some mighty strange things. Sometimes they were strange and wonderful. Other times… just strange.

Like the time when Jesus and his best buds walked into the Temple in Jerusalem. And all of the sudden, Jesus is turning the Temple economy upside down, literally! He’s making a violent mess of the market tables, chasing people and animals around and sending cash flying through the air. Take a minute to read the story (the link’s on the title of this post), and you’ll see what I mean. While you’re reading, notice the disciples, notice how they’re not getting it, but they are remembering, as if they’re storing up the clues for later.

Yes, even in their confused (and probably terribly upset) state, they are remembering. They’re thinking of old Bible verses they learned as kids, hoping that’ll help them make sense of it all. They’re watching Jesus’ wild behavior, can’t figure it out, but they keep hanging with him, even if they don’t yet understand.

And, perhaps more importantly, Jesus keeps hanging with them. He doesn’t give up on them because they can’t see what’s going on. He still keeps doing the outrageous, unexpected things, turning not only tables upside down but rules and hardened categories and prejudices, too. And even though his team doesn’t get it, he keeps bringing them along, one piece of insight at a time… until it all adds up in the end.

Each one of them, on their own, would have been lost, lost in the confusion of events relating to this strange and wonderful Jesus. None of them were getting it alone. But all of them together, sharing their memories and insights, sharing the life of Jesus that God raised up in and around them, all of them together began to see.

And so do we begin to see... all of us together, each seeing through the prism of our own memories, our own dreams, our own giftedness, our own God-sight. God alone can put all the pieces together to guide us toward greater vision, the vision that is "not quite what we were planning", but far greater in the end.

God, so many of us are struggling and feel like we're alone. Connect us to others so we can struggle together. When we can't see what's going on, make us patient with ourselves and with you. Thank you for giving us Jesus, for all that radical stuff he once did to open our eyes, and for all the radical things his Spirit still does for us and through us. We pray this in Jesus' name.

(To read more about the six-word life stories of Not Quite What I Was Planning, see http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=18768430)

~ Kari Henkelmann Keyl