More Haunting Thoughts by Heidi Jakoby

If you missed Bread for your journey last night here are the readings, and prayers by Kari Keyl and some additional thoughts by me.

Reading #1: A Spiritual Journey by Wendell Berry

And the world cannot be discovered by a journey of miles,
no matter how long,
but only by a spiritual journey,
a journey of one inch,
very arduous and humbling and joyful,
by which we arrive at the ground at our feet,
and learn to be at home.

Let us pray: God of love, take us on that journey to find you… and to find ourselves. Help us to face up to all those things that haunt us, all that keeps us from living our lives for you and for those around us… that we might learn to be at home in our own skins… that we might learn to be at home in your grace. In your name we pray… amen.

Reading #2: Mark6:14-29 from the Message
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark%206:14-29;&version=65;

Let us pray: O God, what an awful story. How horrible to hear of the messed-up lives of royalty, and how their insecurities and grievances ended in a gruesome death. Help us to sort out together what this story has to say to us, and how we might be able to handle what haunts us better than Herod did. Thanks, God, for people like John, who speak truth to power, even when it puts them in harm’s way. In your name we pray… amen.

Reading #3: Excerpts from Don Miller’s Blog (for the complete blog go to
http://donmilleris.com/2009/07/07/lessons-in-leadership-robert-mcnamara-teaches-the-most-important-lesson/ )

Yesterday [July 6, 2009], Robert S. McNamara passed away. McNamara was President of Ford Motor Company before going to work at the Department of Defense. He was instrumental in the bombing of Japan in World War II, and is often called the architect of the war in Vietnam. But toward the end of his life, McNamara began to reconsider his actions. He even wrote a book confessing what he felt were his wrongs. He left the Johnson administration and ran the World Bank, some believe, to make up for the many lives lost under his command.

I don’t have a strong opinion about the war in Vietnam. War is messy, and I tend to believe we had good reason to be there, though it certainly didn’t turn out the way we would have hoped. But hindsight is twenty-twenty. I am more interested in McNamara, though. I am more interested in a man with a distinguished career suddenly coming out and admitting he was wrong. It is so rarely seen by a government leader.

Perhaps it was the haunting memory of the soldiers who passed, or the protestors, one of whom, a married Quaker, burned himself alive outside McNamara’s window. The man’s wife would later write McNamara, after he admitted his mistakes, and forgave him.

In my opinion, the most important thing a leader can do is admit his mistakes. He or she should be competent, and should have integrity, and some mistakes really do disqualify you from leadership, but so should deceit, even if it’s self deceit.

Let us pray: O Holy Spirit, breathe into us your peacefulness and your purpose. Move within us a passion to tell the truth where it must be told, whether that means looking inside ourselves or out into the world around us. We give you thanks for Robert McNamara, for his example to admit mistakes, for the way he served people in need through the World Bank. We pray that all those who are still haunted by the realities of the Vietnam War would find peace, and that our country will never forget the hard lessons learned in that conflicted time. In you name we pray… amen.

It is interesting to think about what past memories and or experiences haunt our lives. Killing John the Baptist clearly haunted Herod and Herod eventually lost a lot because of his action. What things haunt you? Are there movies which you cannot even consider watching? For me I am creeped out every time I see a poster of a Chucky movie. Yes I know this is irrational but the feelings are real. At times do you instinctually react to a situation and wonder where that reaction came from. Then upon further reflection you can link it to your past?

Last week we talked about all of us being healers and how the simple act of listening to or sharing one’s pain can have a very healing effect. I know there is one story from my childhood that I always wondered about and I know it has fed into my need to be in control of certain things. I am the youngest of 3 and I have two older brothers one 4 years older and the other 6 years older. Anyway one day my middle brother and I were wrestling as we usually did and he was able to get his hand over my nose and mouth and put me face down into my pillow. That was truly scary, I couldn’t breath and my life was in my brother’s hands. He let me up and I was fine but we never really spoke about it until we were in our 30’s and I just needed to know he remembered that moment and he knew how close I was to passing out. There was great comfort in knowing he remembered and it scared him too.

A few weeks ago we looked at Mark 4:35-41 the story of Jesus calming the storm. The Disciples were afraid during the storm, even though they knew the son of God was in the boat. Even with Jesus in the boat the Disciples were frightened and after Jesus calms the storm he asks, “Don’t you have any faith?” We need to remember that our faith in God will calm the storms in our lives; with God there is nothing to fear. It is hard not to be afraid, afraid of not having enough money, afraid of being unemployed, afraid to help a stranger…..There are many things to fear in the world but we need to remember the healers and friends around us who are willing to hold our hands, listen to our stories and lift us up so we are not haunted by our past, so we can continue the journey God has set out for us.

One of the most interesting images from last night was comparing the head of John the Baptist on a platter and the loaf of bread symbolizing Jesus body on the plate. There is a parallel image here. We consider Jesus the “head” of Christianity and we honor his sacrifice through bread and wine. How does the suffering in these stories illuminate God’s grace? Do we need to suffer to feel God’s presence in our lives?

These are my thoughts and questions from last night, please comment and consider joining us next Thursday for Bread for your journey.

May you not be haunted by your past.
May you remember God’s love and care for you each day.
May you find your calling and joyfully follow your path.
Amen