Go ahead and feel… by Kari Henkelmann Keyl

Supporting people who are grieving and going through painful transitions has been at the heart of what by the way has been about, since our beginning days some 3 years ago. In many and various ways, we’ve tried to be a community living this message: God walks with you through good times and awful times, and we’ll all walk together to make this good news real.

By the way will again be holding our “Service of the Longest Night,” a time of reflection and prayer, acknowledging that the pre-Christmas season is not merry for everyone. For those who live anywhere near the Nashua NH area, this can be an in-person experience (Thurs. 7pm at the Crowne Plaza, at exit 8). For others, this can be a virtual experience of community, beginning here with this blog post, and continuing on through the week. Feel free to leave your comment, whether you’re one in need of support or one willing to offer it to others.

If you’ve been to this blog before, you may have noticed our community is formed as we dive into a piece of God’s word and see how it intersects with our lives and with the world around us. This week we’ll start with Psalm 42, which you can find at this link: http://bible.oremus.org/?ql=127903163

This psalm starts with being honest about a painful need, a need for understanding and company, a need for God. The honesty takes this hurting poet on a journey… of memories, soul-searching longing, and eventually: hope.

I tried a little creative project of my own, re-writing this psalm for those searching for relief from loss during this holiday time. My hope is that it would get you thinking about what you’d like to ask of God… and of God’s messengers, like the btw community you find here.

So here’s my attempt at a re-write:

Pre-Christmas Grief a la Psalm 42
As a deer leans forward, aching for water,
     so am I thirsty for you, O God.
I so need to know that you haven’t dumped me.
     I have to somehow see your face.
I’ve sobbed myself dry; still relief eludes me.
     I ponder good times, but they feel far away.
Christmas songs in the air
     leave me breathless with loss.
Deeper I sink, ‘til there’s just nothing left,
     nothing but you, God, nothing but you.
I grope in the darkness, some presence is there.
     I remember you once were a rock in my storms.
I’ll give trust a try; I’ll peek out of this hole,
But you, God — oh please, God —
     must make a move, too.
Hum your tune as I sleep,
     so I’ll wake warmed with song.
Let me feel my wounds healing,
     and I’ll know you have come.
Confident once more,
     I’ll have hope for tomorrow,
My whole life a prayer, to the God of my soul.

I’d love to see your re-write, too, if you feel so inclined. Just click on comment below.

For more exploring, here are some links to a Chicago song that’s always a good listen for me when I need permission to go ahead and feel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJn7azWR2i8
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/chicago/feel.html

Let's all be watching out for those who are hurting, those who've lost jobs and homes, those who are missing loved ones who have died. Watching and praying...

God, we come to you during this Christmas season, many of us with pain growing inside us. As the nights have been growing longer, so has the darkness wrapped itself around our hearts. We need to know you are here… that you are here for us. Be our rock in the storm, God. Bring us safely home. In your name we pray... amen.


God’s peace,
Kari