- Crystal
'what we read, and what prayers we said' on the 23rd @ the Crowne Plaza in Nashua: http://breadforyourjourney.blogspot.com/
Our discussion that evening led to a variety of topics but particularly to the concept of 'letting go' and trusting in God... letting the Holy Spirit flow and work through us. At one point, someone in the group brought up that 'letting go' is easier said than done... s/he asked, "How do you let go and trust God?"
While we couldn't come up with any conclusive answers, we seemingly all agreed on how to take the first step: you have to ask yourself what you're trying to let go of. As Crystal phrased it in the quote above, you have to figure out what rope you're clinging on to.
I work between 70 and 80 hours a week at a job I really enjoy, traveling all over New England and meeting a lot of great folks. At the same time, I've never felt like being a financial associate was a calling per say, so I've always wondered what's driven me to work so much at it. There's been some nights when I've gotten home from an appointment only to realize I didn't even stop to eat all day. There's even been the occasional night where I didn't allow myself the time to sleep before I left the next morning. Frankly, I got to get a bit better at time management. Still though, there's a lot more to it.
Two evenings ago I spent some time in my hometown, including a couple of hours in front of my mother's grave. They say that "mother always knows best," so while there, I logically asked her what to let go of in order to lead a more purposeful life, doing God's work in the world... she actually answered (I think). It popped into my head that I needed to let go of my anger... particularly at my parents.
"Someone once said that every man is trying to either live up to his father's expectations or make up for his father's mistakes..." - President Barack Obama, in Dreams of my Father.
Whatever your opinion of the President, the quote above rings true. My father was a great man (and still is) but I grew up my whole life judging him for not 'succeeding enough...' not having enough friends, a position of leadership at his company, or whatever else success meant to me at that age. I believe my mom gave me a nudge two evenings ago to let go of my blind pursuit of success. Instead of attempting to make up for my father's perceived mistakes (which probably aren't really mistakes at all), I have to define what success actually means for/ how God wants to work through me in this world. With my mother on the other hand, I have to let go of my anger at her for dying, but that's a whole other story... this post is long enough.
One part of letting go for me then is probably dropping down that 80 hour work week to about 65 hours, so I can have enough time to support the ministry hear at by the way, in the way I feel called to do it. Get the title now? As a final note, I wrote A LOT here... I encourage you (especially our mostly online friends) to use the comment section below to meditate on what you might need to let go of in your own life. I have to leave (the mechanic just called and my car's fixed, right in time for rush hour), but I'll leave you with this song as some background music for while you're thinking:
God's peace,
Dustin
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