Giving: Obligation or Love? by Heidi Jakoby

Do you give out of obligation or out of love? Passionate giving feels very different from obligatory giving? What do you feel when you give? I grew up in a family where my parents were careful about giving my brothers and me gifts of equal value. Did the monetary value matter or was it the love and the non wrap-able gifts that matter the most? Do they matter equally? As we look at John 12:1-8 John 12:1-8 I want to focus on Mary and the passionate love she gave Jesus along with a monetarily valuable gift. What was the true gift? What did Mary receive in this exchange? Was Judas’ comment just a comment of a “realist”?

In the book Giving to God: The Bible’s Good News about Living a Generous Life the author Mark Allan Powell shares a childhood story of having to buy flowers for the dinner table and carry them home through the neighborhood and how he felt embarrassed versus when he was a young man buying flowers for a women he loved and how proud he felt. What was the difference in these two scenarios? When he was buying flowers for the young woman he loved he did not care what anyone thought or if this was a practical gift just that he wanted to get her flowers because he loved her.

I found this great article in The New York Times entitled: A Gift that Gives Right Back? The Giving Itself

This article talks about what the giver gets out of giving and that if you are someone who tells people not to give them a gift you are not showing care for that other person. Tara Parker-Pope writes: “People who refuse to accept or exchange gifts during the holidays, these experts say, may be missing out on an important connection with family and friends. ‘That doesn’t do a service to the relationship,’ said Ellen J. Langer, a Harvard psychology professor. ‘If I don’t let you give me a gift, then I’m not encouraging you to think about me and think about things I like. I am preventing you from experiencing the joy of engaging in all those activities. You do people a disservice by not giving them the gift of giving.’”

Do you agree? I know I love to give gifts and when my parents asked my husband and I to no longer “buy” them a gift I found ways of working around this request and to still “give” them gifts. I love the challenge. I also shop for gifts for people all the time. Each person is unique and I love to bring a smile to their face and to show them love.

As I was surfing the web I found a link to Jaeson Ma a musician and Pastor who has embarked on telling stories of love and challenging all of us to spread a little love. He has a variety of videos and writings about what I would call “acts of kindness” he calls these “365 Days of Love” here is a link about the gift of a SMILE  and the difference it can make.

Gifts do not need to cost you anything but time and love. What gifts can you give each day? What do you think about the difference in giving out of obligation or from love? How does giving anonymously feel differently than giving in person? What does this stir up in you as we continue our journey to Easter, to the gift of Jesus Christ dying for our sins, the ultimate gift? Who would you give your life for? Family, friends, enemies?

Please add your thoughts and comments here and feel free to join us Thursday March 18th in person at the Crowne Plaza, Nashua NH off of exit 8.

May you receive an unexpected gift today!