Check Yourself! By Heidi Jakoby

What is our obsession with reality shows about featuring rich housewives throughout the United States. We have Real Housewives  of New Jersey, New York, Atlanta, Orange County and now DC???? There is also Keeping up with the Kardashians . I am never sure what all these people do or why they are so famous? I’m confused, am I supposed to aspire to be more like them? Most of what I have seen has been people who are not very gracious, have little to no humility, and at times are mean? I’m confused I thought we are suppose to live our best life; treat others as we want to be treated?

On a recent episode of The Real Housewives of DC, Staci invited her friends to her Aunt’s house for a traditional Sunday dinner, something Staci treasured all her life, most were very polite and gracious and one was completely out of her element but refused to be polite, check out Staci's Blog Staci's Blog. Staci states:

Good manners folks... there is no excuse for mean comments toward people who are opening their home and extending their hospitality, even if "the scene" is different than what you are accustomed to… Her behavior was particularly offensive because it was directed at my family (neck roll, please!!). You can be rude to me, but DON'T mess with my family. It's that simple. When it comes to those I love, I don't care to analyze your motivation, your hang-ups or your issues - check yourself.

I found it refreshing to read what Staci had to say. When I read Luke 14:7-14,  I thought Jesus was also reminding us to "check ourselves". Jesus is at a banquet and talks about, his recommendations for the best way to behave at a dinner party. Quoting from the message Jesus says, “If you walk around with your nose in the air, you're going to end up flat on your face. But if you're content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself." Do you agree?

Then Jesus says to the host, “The next time you put on a dinner, don't just invite your friends and family and rich neighbors, the kind of people who will return the favor. Invite some people who never get invited out, the misfits from the wrong side of the tracks. You'll be—and experience—a blessing. They won't be able to return the favor, but the favor will be returned.” I love to invite people or give people gifts when they least expect it. Have you ever invited friends from different socioeconomic groups to come together for a meal? What was it like? Were some people uncomfortable?

I hope you take a few minutes to check out Staci’s comments and think about why reality shows focused on the rich social groups in the United States, keep multiplying? Who is watching these shows and what are we learning?

I have spent a lot of time with little children lately and I find it refreshing when I hear please and thank you. Recently I have met a number of children who have not been taught to say thank you or please, and whose parents do not think these are important lessons, what do you think? Is being polite an appropriate expectation? Should manners be taught? I found this great post Nine Steps to Being Polite at a Dinner, what do you think?

Thank you for spending some time reading my post, please feel free to comment!

Which is more efficient? Planning or Living Moment to Moment? by Heidi Jakoby

Someone needed to be healed so the healer healed them! What is wrong with that? Sometimes you just need to be in the moment and go with what has been put before you. In the story from Luke13:10-17  “the man in charge of the meeting place was angry because Jesus had healed someone on the Sabbath”, but Jesus seized the moment when the women walked into his life. Why would Jesus wait until another day to heal this woman? I have been struggling with the idea that rest is important and I do not rest well, but being in the moment is also an important aspect of living a fulfilling life? Planning and honoring the past; where do they fit?

This week has been all about being in the moment and as you can see this blog did not come together until this evening. Monday at 6:30am I received a call from my friends asking me to watch their daughter as they were on their way to the hospital to have their second child. My answer was yes, even as I needed to head out to help with a summer program for children, that morning. I had a great time and we had some very special moments that day, but I have not been able to catch up on what I “needed” to do this week? What is most important?

Not having any children of my own spending this week with a group of 5 year olds has required me to be in the moment. I am a reality show junkie and one of my favorites is Flipping Out   on this show a Jeff Lewis runs his own business with a number of assistants. One of the things he often tells his staff “I want you to be present and be two steps ahead of me”. What is required of them really? As in any job when you are truly present and attentive to your task at hand often it goes easily and ultimately more efficiently.

Was Jesus just being efficient by healing the women on the Sabbath, why wait? Was this just another normal day of ministry for Jesus? When is the last time you felt like you had a normal day? For me this week was no where near normal. Everyday was a new immediate need. When will I have another normal day. People are getting back from vacation, realizing school begins soon and trying to get as much fun into this summer as possible. Do you sometimes long for a normal day? I found this great Prayer for a normal day Prayer for a Normal Day by Mary Jean Iron

Normal day,

let me be aware of the treasure you are.

Let me learn from you, love you,

bless you before you depart.

Let me not pass by in quest

of some rare and perfect tomorrow.

Let me hold you while I may,

for it may not always be so.

One day I shall dig my nails into the earth,

or bury my face in the pillow,

or stretch myself taut,

or raise my hands to the sky and want,

more than all the world, your return.

This was a very special week for me, but sometimes I too long for a normal day.  I wonder what a normal day was for Jesus, always being questioned.

Please comment here and let me know your thoughts.

Express Yourself! by Heidi Jakoby

What do Sliding out of a job and protesting a mosque, have in common? Both of these stories are stories about expressing your opinion, freedom of speech.

Today Steven Slater  was let out of jail and there has been an explosion of conversation and opinions about his actions. He is the flight attendant who after having a bad experience with a passenger used a number of expletives over the intercom then grabbed a couple of beers, deployed the slide and slid out of the plane into his car and went home. Quite the dramatic resignation, you can check out the details in many places online. Steve clearly expressed his opinion.

Mosque at ground zero debate. “Approved for New York City buses is an ad which shows a plane flying toward the Twin Towers as they burn, a mosque which has been proposed for the area, and the words ‘Why There?’” There has been great public debate over the building of a mosque at ground zero.

I do not know what your opinions are on either of these stories but what I do know is I am very thankful that I was born and raised in the United States of America where we have the right of free speech. In Luke 12: 49-56 what resonated for me is the importance of having and expressing your opinion, with mutual respect and grace.  I believe that through discussion, disagreement and being in relationship we all grow and we are honoring one another. For this blog I looked at a variety of blogs and opinions and I found myself continuously reflecting back on the phrase “Agree to disagree agreeable” which is one of Steven Covey’s Stephen Covey  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Why can't more people agree to disagree and to disagree with love, grace and respect?

As a Lutheran I often view life through this specific lens; what I love about this lens is the encouragement I received to ask questions. The opportunity to have conversations, disagreements and debates about faith, the Bible and more with mutual respect has helped me in my life's journey.  Martin Luther  was a person who questioned the status quo and who wanted to engage in discussions. My parents always encouraged me to ask questions of people, of leaders and even bosses. The key was to ask those questions with respect, seeking to understand the other person’s point of view. In the story from Luke 12:49-56, Jesus talks about how homes will be divided. Let me share another paraphrase of this story form Good As New: A Radical Retelling of the Scriptures by Rowan Williams

“My mission in life is to bring about a revolution, and I’m longing to see the sparks fly! I have a painful time ahead of me, and I can’t wait to get it over and done with! Some of you imagine I’m going to bring peace to the world as if by magic, it’s not as simple as that! What I have to say is more likely to lead to conflict. Families will be split down the middle, parents and children will fail to see eye to eye, and newlyweds will fall out with their in-laws.”

Then Jesus spoke to the crowds who were listening in to all this. “You’re very good at forecasting the weather. If you see clouds coming up from the sea, you say, ‘There’s rain on the way,’ and you’re right. If the wind changes to from the desert, you say, ‘We’re in for a hot spell.’ Right again! You have double standards! You like to show how bright you are in the world at large, and pretend to be dull! Isn’t it time you learned to have an opinion or your own? Think things out and come to a realistic view of your situation, before matters are taken out of your hands and you find you have no choices left. Once you’ve lost your freedom, it’s hard to get it back again.”

How have you been engaging in discussions about your faith? What are your opinions on this reading? Do you avoid conversations about faith? Why?

David Lose states, “if Jesus' call to a new way of relating to each other – via forgiveness, courage, and humility – stirred up division during his time and that of the early church, what does it bring today?”. Faith and religion continue to stir up controversy but I continuously hope that people handle controversy with understanding.

Change and growth comes from experiences and sharing of ideas. What recent conversations have changed your life or helped you to grow? Were you understanding, and gracious to the last person who disagreed with you? How did you share your opinion? Engage in the conversation, don’t be afraid, assume people will be respectful and listen?

What do you think of the story from Luke, has your home ever been divided over an issue? How did you resolve the conflict? Did you agree to disagree agreeably?

Please take a few minutes to share your comments here or join me on Skype Thursday August 12th at 7PM EST at "bythewaycommunity".