Wrangling Over Words by Kathi Johnson, MDiv

I was thinking today about an argument I had with someone once. This argument turned into a real doozy - we were yelling at each other, we slammed doors, and I shed some tears. You know what’s interesting? I can’t even remember what we were fighting about! All I’m left with is the memory of each of us angering the other with our words - words which escalated our emotions higher and higher until we parted for a time to cool down.

After this particular fight, there were more words - quieter words, words spoken in caution but also with love. It wasn’t easy, but we both saw that we had misused our gift of words in order to hurt the other, and we both saw our need to both apologize and forgive the other.

Americans are very concerned about words. I think this concern goes back to our community ideal of free speech. There are many who say that people should be able to say or write whatever they want to, and while I, as an American citizen, am a recipient of this particular gift, I also often wonder: shouldn’t we use our free speech with more responsibility?

When I think about free speech, I think often of what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:23: “‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things are beneficial. ‘All things are lawful,’ but not all things build up.”

“Not all things build up.” In other words, while we can say whatever we want and know that legally, at least, we have some protection on our side, do we ever think about the effect our words will have on others? How much care do we show to others in the use of our words? All things might be allowed, but does that mean we should stretch that allowance to its fullest measure, even beyond human compassion?

The Surpreme Court is deliberating a case about one church’s use of words as they protest at military funerals. There are lots of arguments given by people on both sides - there is a lot of “free speech” language floating around - and a lot of focus on what’s right according to the laws of the land. But - to return to 1 Corinthians for a second - when I read about this case, I am left asking, what about what is beneficial to others?

Down here in Texas, where I live, the political ads for the governor’s race have begun in earnest. One recent ad had a candidate saying that the incumbent is only in it for himself. Lo and behold, a few days later, the incumbent released an ad saying that the other candidate is only in it for himself. I’ve often wondered why candidates feel it necessary to tear down the other, rather than focusing on what they themselves will do for the people?

2 Timothy 2:8-15 has some advice about our words: that we should avoid wrangling over them, because it is that wrangling which ruins all who are involved, and doesn’t do anything for anyone. And so, because of these results, I wonder again: shouldn’t we use our free speech with more responsibility?

I’m thinking again about the times in my own life when I haven’t used my free speech with responsibility. There have often been consequences for what I have said - a relationship has been broken for a time, or someone has been hurt. But, as I think over these times, I am also reminded of the times when I have messed up, and when I have gathered up all my courage to go to that person and I have used my words - sometimes broken and unsure - to apologize. And in return, I have received words of forgiveness from that other person.

I thank God for the times when we do speak or write words which build others up, rather than tear them down. And I pray for us all to use our words well: to use them wisely as we relate to others, and to use them to give our praises to God.

“By your word, eternal God, your creation sprang forth, and we were given the breath of life. By your word, eternal God, death is overcome, Christ is raised from the tomb, and we are given new life in the power of your Spirit. May we boldly proclaim this good news in our words and our deeds, rejoicing always in your powerful presence; through Jesus Christ, our risen Lord. Amen.”
-Prayer for Spread of the Gospel, Evangelical Lutheran Worship, p. 75